AyiConnect Staff, Jul 21, 2022
Every parent thinks their very young child is an angel, but, as kids grow, there comes a point when parents begin to wonder what happened to their little angels. In actuality, however, nothing happened. Your angel is just going through adolescence (and all the drama that comes with it).
When you face rebellious behavior from your kids, don't freak out or feel like you have failed as a parent. Calm down, study your child, and manage their rebellious behavior in a bid to correct it.
If you're struggling to deal with a rebellious kid, this post will guide you through approaching your child to resolve the issue. Let's begin by asking Why?
Why is your kid being rebellious
Rebellion can have several causes, but these reasons are often connected to the age of the kid in question.
1. The desire for independence and control
Your kid might want to make their own decisions about activities, meals, clothes, and other things because they feel they're at the stage to do so. When you don't let them, they could rebel.
2. Peer pressure
As early as when your child is in preschool, he or she is faced with the desire to do what other kids do, driven by the need to fit into a clique or group. If these other kids are doing something wrong, your child could aim to copy them, which causes them to rebel when you try to set them right.
3. Attention seeking
Some kids can turn to rebellion when they desire attention from their parents and think they're not getting it. Without healthy attention, your kids could rebel.
4. Underlying problem
Your kid's rebellion might be connected to other issues, like self-esteem problems, anxiety, and even bullying. It is important to ensure there are no underlying issues before concluding on the causes of such behaviors.
How to manage a rebellious kid
Here are some tips to handle your kid's rebellion without infringing on their feelings and independence or making things worse between the two of you.
1. Speak their language
The first approach is to consider your kid's age and speak their language when having these conversations.
For instance, if your child is already an adolescent, you can have a deeper conversation with them and explore several more angles than if you are dealing with a younger child; in that case, you'll need to keep your conversation simpler and talk to them with fewer words.
2. Don't get emotional
Many parents allow their kids’ emotional behavior to affect them negatively, but that only makes it all the more difficult to have a positive conversation aimed at solving problems.
If you're screaming at your kid, they are highly unlikely to listen to you. But, if you speak to them calmly, you can express how you feel about their attitude, find out why they made the decisions in question, and help them see where they went wrong. Avoid a confrontation with your child when you're emotional.
3. Talk with them, not to them
Many parents follow a dictatorship approach because they think kids should always do what they say. However, as your kids grow, they begin to question many things, including your decisions. That's why it is important to speak with your kids and find out what they think about issues that arise. Allow them to make decisions and correct them afterward.
Giving your kid some guided freedom – provided they aren't doing anything too wrong – helps them build more competence and helps them adjust.
When they're smaller, you can allow them to pick from a group of healthy food choices, and, when they are older, they can begin to make more major decisions, like subjects to study or the friends with whom they’ll play.
4. Insist on clear boundaries
Sometimes, kids rebel because they want to push boundaries and see how their parents react. If you allow them to push boundaries all the time, they will only get more rebellious.
When your child is rebellious, that is the best time to further enforce guidelines and ensure that they stick to them. Of course, you should definitely review rules if you honestly think they are too stringent. However, if the rule is important and necessary, don't allow your child to break it.
If your kids are old enough, however, engage them in conversations about these rules, the reasons behind them, consequences, and any other questions they might have.
As a parent, obey these rules yourself if they concern you, because your kids might question your moral justification if you want to make them do something you don't do.
5. Consistency
As you continue to reorient your kid and get them to be better behaved, it is important to not give up hope and expectations. Remember the reason you love your kid, bear in mind their beautiful traits, and focus on getting them back to being the usual wonderful version of themselves.
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