2021-04-23

Our caregivers often become really special to us, and we see them as a part of our families. However, the time comes when we need to let them go, and it can be a painful parting.
This post will help parents, kids, and family members break up with their nannies with less heartbreak.

1.Decide to let go
The first step, and probably the most difficult is deciding that it is time for your caregiver to move on to another family. There are many reasons to make the decision. Maybe you want to relocate, your kids are old enough to be independent, the senior under their care has passed on, or you cannot afford their services anymore. 
Once you decide to let go of your nanny, draft a plan and take the next steps purposefully to terminate your caregiver's contract.

2. Discuss with your nanny
Immediately after making your decision, the next step is to approach your caregiver. It can be hard to have this conversation, especially if your nanny has been very helpful to you. 
Prepare what you will say and ensure that you pass the message across as gently as possible. It would probably be a difficult situation for your caregiver as well. Decide whether you want to remain friends with your caregiver or cut off contact. You can also choose to give your nanny a positive reference letter for future jobs.

3. How much notice is enough?
Remember that your caregiver needs some time to adjust, seek another employment, and find somewhere to move if they live with you. Based on your contract, you might already have an agreed timeline for notification. If you do, follow the agreement. If you don't consider your caregiver and give enough time to make other arrangements.
It is also considerate to offer severance pay if your caregiver had no fault in the termination.

4. Tell your kids 
Telling your children might be as difficult as telling the nanny, especially if they share a strong bond. You can only do your best to break the news gentler and keep the explanation simple. They might cry or sulk or even yell, so be prepared to understand and comfort them. 

If you chose to stay in touch with your caregiver, inform them that they can communicate through calls, messages, and letters. 

Your kids might withdraw for a while after the nanny leaves, but don't force them to move on. Be patient with them, try to do the same things they would do, and give them time to heal. 

If you are changing nannies, it might be best to allow them to mourn their parting with the previous caregiver for a while before introducing another helper. If not, they will most likely dislike the new caregiver at the first instance.

5. Consider parting slowly 
In some situations, cutting your caregiver off at once might not be the best option, especially if they have been with you for many years and your children have an incredible bond with them.

The best decision might be to cut back gradually by reducing the nanny's work hours so that they come around less. Your kids will slowly and subconsciously adapt to their absence before they leave fully. If your nanny is open to this arrangement, you can work on reduced hours and less pay. 

However, some caregivers might want to move to a full-time job immediately, so this arrangement might not always work. 

6. Let your caregiver have some keepsakes
You can allow your caregivers to have some keepsakes from your family, especially things that they loved when they lived with you. You can have your kids make some drawings, take photos with them, or buy them gifts that they will cherish.
The caregiver will value any gift that your family offers them sincerely and with love. 

Final Thoughts
It is never easy to let go of a caregiver, especially if they had become a loved and trusted part of your family. Ensure that all parties involved are cared for and be considerate to everyone.

Letting go can be tough for everyone, but we hope that these tips will make parting easier for you all. 


AyiConnect is a platform to connect families with helpers who can provide language assistance in addition to care. You can engage and book them through us. Concierge 1:1 Elite service is also available for busy professionals who don't have time or need language assist. Schedule a free consultation here for our concierge service, or check us out on ayiconnection.com.